


A Qte Family

by einspunkteins



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s03e11 Q and the Grey, Gen, Gender Issues, Gift Exchange, Non-binary character, Trans Female Character, trans!janeway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27192571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/einspunkteins/pseuds/einspunkteins
Summary: For the prompt: trans Janeway.Q's visit during the episode "The Q and the Grey" has stirred some latent emotions about motherhood. Some friends help Kathryn deal with that.
Kudos: 11
Collections: LGBT Gift Exchange 2020





	A Qte Family

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BiRadiant](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiRadiant/gifts).



*Tuvok to Neelix*

*Neelix here*

*Mr Neelix, I have a request for you.* It’s not the first time he’s made this request, and he doubts it will be the last.

*

“Come in,” Kathryn says as the door to her ready room chimes.

“Captain,” Tuvok greets her as he enters, “when is the last time you have eaten?”

“I don’t remember,” she sighs.

“That’s what I thought.” Tuvok moves aside and Neelix walks in behind him with a tray and a cheerful smile. “So we are having dinner now. I will let Neelix explain what todays menu includes.”

“It’s a Jibalian seven-spice omelette,” Neelix says. “Very delicious. I added extra pickled vegetables, because I know you like them so much.”

Kathryn shakes her head and chuckles. “It sounds delightful. Thank you.”

*

“He came to see me, you know. Q. With his baby.” Tuvok looks at her over his cup and raises an eyebrow – a sign to keep talking. “He looked adorable. Is it wrong that I’m jealous? That part of me wishes that I could’ve said yes?” Kathryn tries a leola root pickle and scrunches up her nose. Not as good as she’d hoped.

“It is logical that you are longing for motherhood, and that you project that longing to this opportunity. Therefore, I would not say that it’s wrong.”

“Thank you for your logical assessment of my predicament.” She smiles and leans over to pat his arm. “Sometimes I think I should resign myself to the fact that I’ll never have kids. Just stop worrying about it. But it doesn’t go away that easily, does it?”

“The desire to procreate is innate to every species, otherwise we would cease to exist.”

“Yes, but it’s more than that. It’s also cultural, part of being a woman, even though a woman doesn’t _need_ to have children, it’s so tied to our concept of womanhood that she has the _possibility_ to become a mother.” She sighs and her gaze drifts subconsciously down to her abdomen.

Tuvok gives her a questioning look. “You struggle with the fact that you cannot completely pass as a woman, even if you can on the outside, and you feel like it makes you incomplete.”

Kathryn bites the inside of her cheek. “Yes,” she says softly.

*

It’s not just because of her responsibilities as a captain. Not even because she’s waiting for Mark – she’s convinced he’s given up on her, and frankly, she’s okay with that. Not having the right partner has little to do with it. No, the reason this bothers her deeply and more profoundly than she’d ever let up to Q is that she _can’t_ have kids. Every confrontation with that fact is a punch in the gut. Her and B’Elanna’s exercise program should provide an opportunity to punch back.

“Computer, batleth.”

Federation medicine has made huge progress and so the physical changes she’d made all those years ago are ingrained in her body without problem. On the surface, her body is the way she wants it to be, there’s barely any reminder of her past; every six months, she has her hormone implant checked and refilled, and she takes dietary supplements, but that’s minor. So many people take extra vitamins, and she’s almost managed to disconnect the presence of the implant from the reason why she needs the hormones. There are even days that she completely forgets the fact that her body wasn’t always female. But sometimes, just sometimes, she’s confronted with the limitations of twenty-fourth century medicine, with the parts of her body that aren’t so easy to change.

She wants to be a mother. Not just be a mother – to carry a child. Every surge of that desire is a reminder of what she can’t have. It’s not just that she doesn’t have a uterus – it involves more than that, her body just isn’t wired for pregnancy, it wouldn’t be able to carry a child to term. Even her brilliant EMH couldn’t do anything about that. The batleth hits right under the Klingon’s chin and she moves fast, uses the momentum to push him against a rock.

“Kathy,” is what Q called her. She should be offended, but she isn’t. She scoffs and the momentary distraction allows the Klingon to strike back, but she manages to block him. “Kathy.” It’s disgusting, the way he tried to butter her up with all possible clichés, the way he’s an over-the-top exaggeration of the male stereotype. The way all Q seem to be stubborn teenagers. She tackles the Klingon to the ground and lands the point of her batleth into his chest. Victory. At least in this room, she’s in control.

*

The doors of the holodeck open and B’Elanna appears. “Mind if I join you for another round?”

“Please. I’m imagining these are Q instead of Klingons,” Kathryn says with a wry chuckle.

B’Elanna grunts. “That was quite something, huh. I wanted to punch him and his wife.”

“He gave me a lot of thoughts – things that I don’t necessarily want to think about.” She restarts the program and inspects B’Elanna’s outfit. “I’m guessing you also have a lot of things you don’t want to think about for a moment,” she says and nods towards the chest binder B’Elanna’s wearing. They’d started exercising together after B’Elanna confided in her about having gender-related struggles, which prompted Kathryn to open up about her own past. Sometimes, both of them just need some time off from having a gender at all.

“Exactly.”


End file.
